Resolutions, Big News, and as always, Dogs

I am the worst, I am aware guys. Here I come with my big announcement about promising to post way more, and then I fall off the map for forever. If you’re imagining my short and stout self, please know that i’m begging for forgiveness. I’m so sorry! I hope other bloggers have run into this, but i fell into a bit of a dry writer’s spell. Ignore the obvious sexual connotation there please. Ya dirty birds.

So, let me start from the beginning. I have always been a big believer in not writing if you have nothing to write about. I know people say that you should write everyday, but I really don’t think that fits every writer. Really, every brain is different, and if its like mine it goes about 90 MPH. If you’re like me, major life events puts a huge stop on your creativity. And that’s exactly what happened. I was going through some stuff, and honestly I had nothing to write about. When I’m not emotionally intact, I don’t feel like I write great content. Honestly, it would be really fragmented, horribly spelled, garbage. And no one wants that hot mess on their feed. Consider that my apology, and now I’ll tell you why.

Honestly, the past month or so I just wasn’t very happy. Things at work had gotten really bad, and it was starting to come over into my personal life. I know people say that you should keep work and personal life separate, but its really hard to just be in a good mood after you’ve had an awful day. I felt like I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing anymore, and that the negativity from work was just making me miserable. I stayed in this mental pit for a couple weeks, before coming to the conclusion it was time to look for a new job. As a new graduate, I immediately thought, “what if I can’t find another job?!” So i started looking, and for a while heard nothing back. This only dug the mental pit deeper, and without the encouragement from the lady and family, I would’ve stopped looking altogether. But, as I’ve discovered the universe always has a plan. Out of the blue, I got a call from an incredible company in Charleston that I had looked at before. They had an opening, and wanted to interview me! Sometimes, the universe may take a metaphorical dump on you (not sure how that might be literal-sorry for the plethora of awful metaphors) I went through the interview and low and behold they gave your girl the job! Not only was this an incredible opportunity, but it made me excited to go to work again, and that was huge.

I think that negativity can truly do so much to destroy a person’s life. It was only when i started my new job did I realize that you do ultimately have the power to change bad things in your life. So it’s time for me to impart some wisdom on your angelic souls, because sharing is caring:

If you do not like something in your life, you are allowed to change it. You don’t need to explain or validate why you’re changing it.

So my biggest resolution was to start a new job and adventure which I’ve done. The lady and I have also decided we are going to stop cramming ourselves full of junk and eating better. And honestly, i feel loads better! I am not a fan of dieting but I am a fan of making healthy changes. I’m sure I’ll be talking about that soon.

And no, I didn’t cut out wine. Because I love wine. Next!

To make up for my perpetually grumpy leave of absence I’ve attached some pictures from the holidays. It involves the dog looking very cute, and me looking more or less presentable. Story of my life.

-C

Dennis didn't really understand what fetching is, but I sure do now.

Dennis didn’t really understand what fetching is, but I sure do now.

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First Christmas. He got more gifts than I did. Is this what having children is like??

Go Pats!

Go Pats!

To the one I never Met

To the one I never met-

I never met you, yet I have stared at your picture countless times.

I always wonder if you looked like the photographs.

I never met you, but I’ve heard stories of you.

Each one different, tinged in happiness and in sadness.

I never met you, but I wondered what you were like.

Were you the good stories, or the bad stories, or both?

I never met you, but you made me angry.

How could you cause such destruction so whimsically?

I never met you, but you made me sad.

Didn’t you ever tire of living life like a two sided mirror?

I never met you, but you saved me.

You brought me to someone who made me whole when I was nothing but organs encased in skin.

I never met you but I wish I had.

You seemed chaotic and stoic and wild and calm all at the same time.

You were a hurricane of emotions, wonderful and terrifying all at once.

I never met you, but I wish I could talk to you.

I wish I could tell you that everything ended up alright.

I never met you, but I feel a strange connection to you.

You were the catalyst that made my life better, and without you, there’d be no her.

I never met you, but I wish I could thank you.

You taught her to love, and to enjoy life. You taught her to be brave, and to hold tight to the things she believed in.

And in return, she taught me those things too.

Condo Dust

So…good news everybody!! My condo is almost finished! YAY! Not that I don’t love living on a deserted island…

Actually, I like living out here a lot. I’m quite unsocial. And being out here allows me to talk to no one while drinking all the wine i can guzzle. It’s an introvert’s dream.

But, they finally installed my counter tops and carpets and the laminate…

Oh, wait. Because it wouldn’t be a renovation if something didn’t go horribly wrong.

This is the story of linoleum, and the dark secrets it hides.

In my tiny, glorious condo, the kitchen and utility room are covered with linoleum. Now, I have yet to see good-looking linoleum, and this does not help that case much. It’s yellow, it’s peeling, and it’s ugly. So my grown up ass decided it had to go.

But little did I know, the linoleum wouldn’t go down without a fight.

SO. When I first decided that I was going to replace the nasty linoleum with beautiful new laminate (because I’m on a budget, after all!) the man came out to measure my condo. I showed him the nasty linoleum, and even had him get down on its level, and inspect it.

“No,” he told me, “we can just lay the laminate over it”

And like a naive, 22 year old…i believed him.

So, today, the day when my condo was supposed to become livable and my little 22 year old dreams were supposed to come true…they didn’t.

I knew it was bad when my contractor even refused to tell me the news. The Cathy had to tell me that my linoleum, which suddenly became too uneven to lay laminate on, had been ripped up and under it a horrible secret.

A body? You ask? No….

Water damage. And this water damage has to be patched. And that means my laminate couldn’t be installed. So this has left me with half my condo laminated, half concrete, and a fridge and stove in my living room.

So I stood in my half finished condo today, attempting to hang shower curtains and not inhale the pounds of dust that have magically accumulated from all the renovations. And I’m not referring to regular dust, but a fine white powder dust. I’m not sure where it comes from, but every time I leave the condo, I look like I’ve just rolled around in a pound of cocaine. So I stood on my step stool (because I am as tall as a Keebler elf) trying to hang these shower curtains, and cursing the linoleum that now lay in large chucks in my living room.

“What do you want us to do with it?”

“Leave it,” I growled through my teeth, “I want it to suffer”

But I stood up there, mentally cursing everything that had gone wrong that day. And having the poise of a mini horse, I lost my balance, fell off the step stool, and landed on my ass in the middle of the bathroom. And up went a cloud of dust that resembled the mushroom cloud of Nagasaki.

So I sat on my ass in the dust, and this was when I realized something. I had been bitching all day about how things had not gone according to plan. But I had been so busy doing that, that I forgot to remember:

This is my condo. I bought this. ME.

This dust bowl was my creation, and in the midst of all the dust, it was important to remember that and to know that eventually this would be finished. It took something going wrong in my day to make me realize all that had gone right. Weird, right? I think we all do this. I think we all get caught up in the dust that seems to settle around us. Because dust represents details, and it’s easy to get so caught up in them that you lose sight of what’s under the dust. Under the dust is actual stuff, under the dust is our lives, and under the dust is my condo. The good thing about dust is that you can wipe it away, and it’s easily changed. Details can change, and if you’re as crazy as I am, you hate this. But to my knowledge, this is how life works, and unfortunately we just have to accept that we are always going to be dusting. It’s realizing that there is stuff under the dust, and this stuff is important.

That sounded deep, and almost like I know what I’m talking about. Weird.

-Celeste